So you want to learn how to deal with toxic people. Toxic people are those individuals around us who always seem to find the bad side to everything They are unable to criticize in a constructive manner and their only reaction to problems are hurtful actions like yelling or getting angry. They are usually not solutions-oriented individuals and prefer to wallow in negativity.
Being around toxic individuals can be very difficult and could deeply affect your mood, emotions and even destroy your confidence in yourself.
There are times when we just want to walk away from these people but in a lot of cases that’s virtually impossible as they’re very much involved in our lives. They could be your boss or a co-worker in the same department you just have to work with. Sometimes, they’re even your family.
So how can you deal with toxic individuals that you cannot simply cut off? How do you make sure that their negativity doesn’t affect you or even worse influence how you deal with problems?
Our seven tips on how to deal with toxic people in your life
Here are seven tips on how you can deal with toxic individuals in your life.
- Try to Understand Them: Toxic individuals are not necessarily evil people. Their attitude and approach to life may be rooted in a different problem, like trouble at home or simply stress from work. Look past their actions and realize that they’re not just villains in your life, they’re humans too and maybe are just unable to positively cope with trouble the same way others do and thereby resort to negative and hurtful actions. Understanding a toxic person’s motivations lets you separate what they’re feeling from your own thoughts and emotions—key in how to deal with toxic people. You don’t have to take their actions personally and not let them affect your feeling of self-worth.
- Don’t Mirror Their Actions: One of the worst things a toxic individual can do is influence you to be a toxic person yourself. Practice self-awareness and be careful of how you interact with others. Try to think about how negative people make you feel and ask if you want others to feel the same way. Being self-aware allows you to curb your emotions and think before you act.
- It’s Okay to Vent: The pressure we feel from toxic individuals can be overwhelming so it’s healthy to let out that pressure by talking to other people, like friends or family members. Make sure you talk to people you can trust. When you’re venting, focus on how the toxic person makes you feel instead of ranting about how horrible they are, that’s just counter-productive and shifts your mood towards anger and frustration.
- Open Up to the Toxic Individual: This seems like a scary notion but it can truly be helpful to both parties. Toxic individuals are also human and sometimes they’re not aware of how damaging their words and actions are. Approach them in a calm manner and in a private setting so they don’t feel ambushed or embarrassed. Talk to them about how they affect you and let them open up to you about why they act the way they do. And when they open up to you, listen with an open heart and without judgment. If both parties can come to an understanding, it can lead to a more harmonious relationship.
- Fight Negativity with Positivity: Often when we encounter negative people, we counter their actions with even more negativity. In the end we just have two individuals being toxic around each other. Instead, counter negativity with positive actions. Perhaps your boss is mad about a failed project or a missed deadline and yelling at you in an undignified manner. Instead of getting angry, focus instead on what you can do to make things right. Don’t waste your energy with anger and spend your time coming up with a solution instead.
- Surround Yourself With Positive Individuals: If you just can’t get away from the toxic people in your life, find a balance by surrounding yourself with positive individuals. Let their positivity influence you and motivate you to become a more positive person yourself. Positive people are usually self-starters, creative and simply enthralled with life. Join a local support group or perhaps a gym and find a group of people who are looking to achieve something. Nurturing those relationships doesn’t just counter the toxicity others bring in your life, they can also help your personal growth so you can be a better person than before.
- Tune Them Out: After you’ve tried everything and the toxic individuals remain to be toxic or refuse to admit that their attitude is hurtful, there’s not much else you can do. That is their own problem that they have to resolve on their own. It’s not your fault and it’s not your responsibility. If you work with them, remain professional and stick to your job but anything else, just tune out their words. It’s harder when toxic people are a part of your family, but know that you don’t have to listen to their words and let it affect you. Tune them out.
Want to share your tips on how to deal with toxic people? Drop us some of your tips in the comments section.